One characteristic that makes funadamentalists unique is their willingness to stick to their religious dogma regardless of how illogical it seems. Even when confronted by tons of reasoning and new ideas, they refuse to change their perspective, or are at least hesistant to do so. While I'm not a big fan of this sort of philosophy, I do have to give them credit for sticking to their values when it's hardest to do so. After all, what good are values if you abandon them the second doing so becomes tough?
This idea of sticking to one's views at all costs does, however, come with a huge sense of arrogance and an attitude that essentially says, "I'm right, you're wrong, and everything I do is the work of God himself." Obviously, this sort of attitude is consistent with a feeling of religious self-righteousness. But in order to feel self-righteous in a religious sense, one must act in a manner consistent with religious teachings. So how would a fundamentalist Christian go about achieving this high sense of self-worth? Just live a life consistent with the teachings of the bible.
That's easy, right? Good Christians should be following the bible anyway, so an even better Christian should be at least that christlike. But what happens if some of your views don't match up with those taught in the bible? If that's the case, you have a few options:
1.
Don't pretend to be God's gift to the world. This is the most sensible option. If your views don't agree with those of the bible, it's perfectly fine to admit that there's a discrepancy, and that there's some value in thinking for oneself.
2.
Pick and choose. The bible contains tons of wisdom, but it also has tons of stuff that aren't as admirable. (God is egotistical and even genocidal on more than a few occasions.) So, how do you resolve this? Just ignore the parts you don't like. Sure the bible encourages things like polygamy, animal sacrifice, and executing rape victims, but the bible's a lot easier to follow when you just ignore those parts.
3.
Twist the verses around. Have a belief, but can't find a biblical passage to prove that every thought that pops into your head is inspired by God himself? Fix this problem by taking a random biblical passage (either in or out of context) and twist around its meaning until it justifies your belief system. This technique is particularly fun if you can arrange it so that it's interpreted to mean something with absolutely no relation to its original meaning. For example, you could interpret a passage about incestuous, same-sex rape as justification for centuries of race-based slavery and persecution. (I wouldn't recommend using that suggestion exactly as stated, seeing as it's
already been done.)
4.
Rewrite the bible. Not everyone has the same viewpoint... unless you edit everyone else's viewpoint. At first glance, this may appear to be a ridiculous idea, but there is some logic to it. After all, the bible was originally in languages like Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic. Surely some errors must be present in it after centuries of translation and having scribes rewrite it by hand. Good faith efforts to correct these mistakes are reasonable, but surely nobody would even think about changing the bible to suit his or her own personal political beliefs. This idea is so sacrilegious that nobody in his or her right mind would actually do it. That being said, there are a lot of people who are out of their minds.
Enter Conservapedia, one of the internet's more organized collections of nutcases. For those of you who don't know, Conservapedia is a website created by Andy Schlafly as a response to what he viewed as liberal bias on Wikipedia. (Schlafly's mother is the infamous
Phyllis Schlafly.) Conservapedia itself is basically an encyclopedia of conservative opinions, rather than of facts and verifiable information. (There are also many objectively accurate articles, but they tend to be about a sentence or two long.) And the opinions expressed on this website are rather extreme. In fact, sometimes it's
hard to tell if their views are serious, or if they're just satires poking fun at conservatives.
Back to the subject of screwing with the bible, Conservapedia has found a new way to put the "fun" in "fundamentalism". Simply put, through what's known as the
Conservative Bible Project , Conservapedia is attempting to translate a conservative edition of the bible. Evidently, the book most used to arbitrarily justify conservative positions was too liberal for them, so they felt the need to rewrite it with the following guidelines:
1.
Framework against Liberal Bias - Liberal bias, of course just means anything Schlafly doesn't want to follow.
2.
Not Emasculated - Why use gender-neutral language? Godforbid any theological issue should be made as relevant as possible to more than half of the world's Christians.
3.
Not dumbed down - Even the newest parts of the bible are centuries old, and there have been many generations of people who've devoted their lives to trying to better understand them. Still today, we've got plenty of unanswered biblical questions. If that's the result of a dumbed down text, I can't imagine what a more complex version would look like, and I'd have to question how deeply the bible could be understood as part of a project led by a man who isn't sufficiently formally educated in the field of ancient languages.
4.
Utlize Powerful Conservative Terms - Isn't that just another way of saying to add more conservative bias? So much for focusing on biblical accuracy. Then again, given Conservapedia's
track record with defining the ideology of words, this may not change the ideology of the bible at all.
5.
Combat Harmful Addictions - Changing terms like "cast lots" to "gamble" might be well-intentioned (and ineffective), but modern bibles already have this kind of stuff written as footnotes.
6.
Accept the Logic of Hell - Because we all know that if any book argues against the existence of Hell, it's the bible.
7.
Express Free Market Parables - This is necessary because Jesus healing the sick could otherwise be viewed as socialized healthcare.
8.
Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages - The provided example is of the story with the line "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." If that's liberally biased, then I'm even prouder to be a liberal.
9.
Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples - There are books of the bible credited to the disciples themselves. Their own words are probably good enough for forming opinions about them.
10.
Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness - I wasn't aware that conciseness was a conservative trait. But if wordiness is suggestive of liberalism, wouldn't it be more concise to take the word "liberal" out of "liberal wordiness"?
This is why you've got to love the far right. They think anything and everything is biased against them if it contains even the slightest bit of ideology that does not match their own.
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